history repeats itself

When i broke up with him, and he hurted me the way he did.. i swore to myself never to fall for a guy again.
Hello bloggers, my name is ella.. i'l start with a basic introduction bout me today since no1 really knows me over here.
I am 20 years old, originally from lebanon.. but lived all my life in dubai, which sucks bt then cant do anything bout it now can i? Annnnyways lets get to the point..
I started going out n making friends from the age of 13.. so at the age of 17 i had made friends throughout this country, i was very popular and loved by everyone, wa a mischievious kid but i still cared about the people around me.I always loved listening to metal and rock music, and it was what i started listening to since a very early age of 7 because of my brother and sister so i always had a thing for musicians,tattoos,peircings n all these stereotypical things. I never missed a desert rock festival, which some of you might be wondering what it is, its a 2-day-festival that happens once a year here in dubai where more then 10 international and well known bands come to perform and play; i was always there, with a bunch of friends enjoying my time, but on the year 2007, i left my friends for a while to go get some food for me and my bestfriend who tagged along with me, and there i saw him, tall and muscualr, tattoos and peircings and a great great charisma that cudnt let me look away ! After some weeks we talked over the MSN and decided we should meet.. he showed up and from that moment.. i knew i wanted to be with him, you ask why? because he saw me in my worst situation, me all cut up, all depressed and all dead n pale, but called me beautiful, and held my hand n cared to ask what is happening.. after 8 months of talking, we started dating then, he was everything to me and i had the best time with him,but then i started noticing. He never liked any friend i have, got mad at me for simple reasons, made me sacrifice more than he did, and made me pull out and leave all the friends i had made over the years.
I accepted it, yes i know.im stupid i did.. bt i thought we had something real there, so i lost everyone and everything for him. for what? For him to start his abuse, threats and destroying of me and my heart.
After a long year and a half of pain and suffer, i got the guts to end it with him, he then called my mom and totally hurt her.
That was where i swore i would NEVER fall for a guy again. and for a year and a half i kept my promise, i dated ad had other relationships.. but never gave then anything, was too cold and dead and emotionless. But now.. im failing badly, because im falling badly for a new guy. and im not so sure i should .
yes i know i blabbed too much.. hell i didnt even tell u the WHOLE story haha.. but anyways.. i will keep blogging about this because honestly, even if i had all these friends i spoke bout , i dont feel good telling them anythin i just type over here, coz this country is too small and everyone knows each other. So you guys could be my daily journal readers =]
till next time..
xoxo Ella xoxo